IT Finds Love
by TheStepBrothers
Summary: Pennywise the Dancing Clown finds love
1. Chapter 1

Rowyn's heart thuddered in his chest as IT's lips came closer and close.

"Oh Pennywise," he gushed, "What have I done to deserve your love?"

IT just giggled, and stroked Rowyn's face with his gloved covered hands.

"You have changed my heart, I no longer want to eat people, I just want to be with you!" he exclaimed.

Rowyn's green eyes welled up with tears of happiness, he was so happy that he had found a perfect lover like IT.

"Oh Pennywise! Take me!" Rowyn exclaimed, ripping off his clothes, and tossing them onto the sewer floor.

They started to kiss all romantically and stuff, and then came the looovee making.

Rowyn started blowing IT like a balloon, when he suddenly saw four shadows looming over them.

It was Henry Bowers, Victor Criss, Patrick Hockstetter, and BELCH!

Rowyn gasped and quickly shoved IT behind him, because he knew that the bullies would beat him up, they were really mean to Pennywise for some reason.

"Well, well, well, lookie what we have 'ere," Henry said in an English accent, waving his switchblade in front of Rowyn's face.

Rowyn's knees knocked together, and he trembled as he backed up against the wall of the sewer.

"I fink we should teach 'im a lesson dn't you?" Vic said in an equally English voice.

"What the fuck, we're from Maine, why are they talking all English?" Patrick asked, scratching his head.

Belch just responded by burping.

Henry and Vic looked confused, and Rowyn took this oppourtunity to ram them both in the gonads with his knees.

Henry fell down on the floor crying, however, Victor had no response!

"Uh oh," Rowyn gulped, turning to run. However, Vic was faster, and he grabbed him by the arm, and picked up three feet off the air!

"Oh no help!" Rowyn cried.

Like a blur, IT came racing out from the shadows! He grabbed Vic by the neck, and ripped his head clear off!  
Rowyn watched in amazed fear, as IT tore into Victor's flesh and ate his bones and everything!

"Oh my gosh, let's get out of here!" Henry shouted, and he and Belch took of running, with Patrick waddling behind them because he was fat.

"Now that they're gone, where were we?" Rowyn cooed, kissing IT's blood stained lips.

They then continued to make love for six days straight, and when they finished, IT had some exciting news.

"I'm pregnant!" he exclaimed.

"Oh my gosh, are you sure?" Rowyn gasped out. He didn't know how he felt about being a father, after all, he was only twenty-two, and he had just finished high school.

"Yes, with seven boys and eighteen girls!" IT exclaimed.

"Oh my gosh, how'd you know?" Rowyn asked.

"Well, back when I lived in Hemlock Grove, I had a gypsy friend who taught me all about seeing into the future," IT giggled.

Rowyn giggled too, and they joined hands, and started to dance around the sewer together.

Rowyn felt so happy, he smiled at IT, knowing that they would be together forever.

However, one thing that he did not know, was that seven kids were currently waiting outside the sewer with their weapons.

Oh no!


	2. Chapter 2

That night, IT and Rowyn were watching The Stand on the portable TV that Rowyn had brought down to the sewer, when they suddenly heard a crash and a flop.

Rowyn whipped his head around, and he found himself staring at seven pre-teens!

The one in the middle was a boy with red hair, standing beside him was the only girl of the group, and on his other side was a boy with glasses. Standing next to the girl, was a boy who was fat, fatter than Patrick even. Standing next to the boy with glasses, was a boy wearing a yarmulke. And on the ends was a dark skinned boy, and a small frail looking boy, who was wheezing, and he had an inhaler around his neck.  
"M-My n-name is B-B-Bill D-Denbrough, you k-k-killled my b-b-brother, p-p-prepare to d-d-die!" the boy in the middle shouted, and he charged forward with a stick in his hands.

"Yea!" exclaimed the girl, holding her up sling shot.

"That's not who I am anymore, I just want peace, I found love and that's all that matters," IT said, trying to reason with the preteens.

"Okay, I'm going home," the boy in the yarmulke said, walking out of the sewer.

"What the hell Stan, we can't just abandon Billy like this!" Eddie exclaimed in a wheezing voice.

Stan must not have heard him, because he didn't come back.

"Yea, I agree with Stan, if IT isn't harming anyone anymore, then why risk our lives?" Richie said, and he left as well.

"Whatever, just because IT says he's nice now, doesn't mean he is, I'm staying and helping Billy fight," Mike said with determination.

"Well, you know, I had a snack earlier, but now I'm feeling hungry again," IT said with a wicked grin.

"Pennywise no!" Rowyn exclaimed, jumping in between IT and the others as he prepared to launch.

"Move out of the way," IT growled as drool seeped out of his mouth with evil.

"No! Don't you want to prove them wrong? Don't you want to prove that you're not a monster anymore?"

"But they were mean to me!" IT cried, bursting into tears. He sank down to the floor, and started to pound it with his fists.

"I JUST WANNA HAVE A SECOND CHANCE!" he wailed.

"Well, I hate to say it, but if you keep eating people, no one will ever think you changed," Rowyn said sternly, putting his hands on his hips.

"I think IT really is trying to change," Beverly said, and she walked off with Ben, Eddie, and Mike.

Billy however, still looked furious.

"The other Losers might think you've changed, but I know better, this isn't over!"

When he left, IT put his head into Rowyn's chest, and started crying miserably.

"Oh Rowyn, what will I do?" he said all pathetically.

"There, there," Rowyn said, patting his back, "We'll get through this other, we always do."


	3. Chapter 3

"Honey, I'm home!"

IT gasped and dropped his shopping backs. Standing in front of him was Rowyn, the guy he promised himself to until the end of time, making out with a guy who looked just like him, but not like him at the same time.

"Rowyn! Wtf!" he exclaimed, stomping his foot. He thought about eating Rowyn, but he decided against it.

Rowyn's mouth dropped open, and he looked from the clown he had just been kissing, to the clown standing angrily in the door way.

"Uhh, um, okay who's the real Pennywise?" he asked.

"I am!" both clowns exclaimed in unison.

"Not only am I a clown, but I'm also the grand wizard!" the clown who Rowyn had been kissing exclaimed in an English accent.

"Yea, well, I'm a vampire!" the other IT exclaimed.

"Whatever, we can all have a threeway," Rowyn shrugged.

"Smashing!" the wizard clown exclaimed.

However, the vampire clown did not look pleased.

"WTF Rowyn! I can't just share you, that's not what a monogamous relationship is all about."

"Whatever, I'm going to Outback Steakhouse."

Rowyn then disappeared, leaving the two clowns in the sewer.

"So, what are you doing in MY sewer?" the vampire IT demanded.

"It way my sewer first, I came here in 1990!" the wizard IT exclaimed.

The vampire IT was about to say something, when a pitter patter interrupted his thoughts.

Then, Bill appared in front of them with a machine gun in his hands.

"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!"

The wizard IT turned into Georgie crying.

Bill hesitated, and the vampire IT took this oppourtunity to grab the gun from him.

He then thought about eating him, but he decided against it. Even if Rowyn did cheat on him, he made a promise to become a better man.

The wizard IT, however, had other ideas.

"FINISH HIM!"

"Maybe next time," the vampire IT said looking after Billy who had run away.

"Maybe next time Kid," the wizard IT clamped his hand on his shoulder, "Look, you have a lot to learn, but I retired, and now I have shit to do, so adios."

With that, he disappeared, and Rowyn came walking through the door with carry out boxes from Outback Steakhouse.

As they ate, IT looked lovingly at Rowyn's sauce covered face, which reminded him so much of blood, and he knew they'd be alright.


	4. Chapter 4

That night, Rowyn was awoken by some growling and scratching.

He grumbled and rolled over.

"Is that you Pennywise?" he asked IT, who was snoring away.

Then, a loud crash rang out, and a giant black wolf ran into the sewers!

"AHH!" Rowyn screamed, grabbing IT's clown sleeve, and shaking him awake.

"Huh?" IT grumbled rubbing his eyes. He then started chuckling.

"What's so funny?" Rowyn demanded, putting his hands on his hips.

"Oh don't worry, he won't hurt you, that's just my friend Peter from Hemlock Grove!" IT exclaimed.

Rowyn started crying.

IT frowned and put his hand on Rowyn's shoulder.

"What's wrong Babe?"

"I want to be the only man in your life, I don't want you to talk to anyone with an xy chromosome except me!"  
Rowyn threw himself onto the floor, and started to pound the ground with his fists.

IT and Peter looked at each other, and rolled their eyes. Then, Peter decided he had enough of this crap, so he hit the road, Jack, and he didn't come back no more, no more, no more, no more.

Eight hours later, Rowyn had finally stopped crying, and IT had breakfast made.

"That sounds delicious, what are we having?" Rowyn asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Left over Victor Criss," IT said nonchalantly.

"Yum."

Rowyn smiled and kissed IT deeply on the lips. IT wasn't too into the kiss though, because he still remembered how much of a brat Rowyn acted like, and how he said he couldn't have any friends with an XY chromosome.

"So, I'm going to the club tonight, and I'm probably going to make out with a lot of guys while I'm there, don't wait up," Rowyn said, giving IT one last kiss before walking out of the sewer.

IT sighed and plopped down, putting his hands in his head. He was beginning to wonder if Rowyn was actually the one for him after all.


	5. Chapter 5

On his way to the club, Rowyn decided to stop at Tesco to talk to the sexy cashier he met there.

"Salut," the cashier greeted him Frenchly.

"Oi Matey!" Rowyn exclaimed in his Australian accent. They always found it so cool how they were both from different countries than America.

"So, I'm going to the club, wanna come?" Rowyn asked, leaning over the cash register to show off his cleavage.

"Um, I'm kind of working," the Frenchman said.

Rowyn stomped his foot, and tears welled up in his eyes.

"You never put me first! I am much more important than a job! So what if you get evicted? What about me? Don't I matter?"

He was rolling around on the floor now, and doing The Crybaby.

He cried and cried until two security guards named Shawn and John, took him, and gave him the boot out of the store.

"Whatever, I can go get lovin from somewhere else!" Rowyn exclaimed, shaking his fist at the door of the store.

He then carried onto the club.

Meanwhile, down in the sewer, IT was sobbing into a carton of ice cream.

"I can't believe Rowyn is doing this to me again!" he bemoaned, shoving a spoonful of chocolate ice cream into his mouth.

He decided to turn on the TV, and that's when he saw it..

ROWYN HAD MADE BREAKING NEWS!

He was on there, giving a lap dance to the most important man in the world.

IT dropped his spoon, causing it to clatter to the ground, and his insides went cold.

He had a new menu plan, and the special would be Rowyn!


	6. Chapter 6

The next day, Rowyn came stumbling into the sewer, when he came face to face with the ugliest boy that he had ever seen in his life! This boy was hideous, he looked just like a bowl of spaghetti.

Rowyn was about to say something to the boy, when he realised that he was looking into a mirror! This new knowledge caused him to burst into tears.

The sounds of Rowyn's crying aroused IT from his sleep. Normally, he would have rushed over to Rowyn to comfort him, but he was still mad from when Rowyn cheated on him.

"What's your issue?" he asked instead in a bored tone.

"I'm ugly!" Rowyn wailed, throwing himself onto the bed and sobbing into a pillow.

"You're just now figuring that out?"  
Rowyn let out a gasp, and sat up, facing IT.

"Y-You think I'm ugly?"

"Yea, inside and out!" IT huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Rowyn started to cry, he cried for ten hours straight, and he was still crying when all of the sudden, a loud axe came through the door!  
Rowyn stopped crying, and let out a scream when he saw Billy's face in the hole that the axe had made.

"Here's B-B-Billy!" Billy exclaimed.

Rowyn was so scared. IT however, was not scared. He started after Billy, deciding to say forget about it, to the promise he had made Rowyn. If Rowyn couldn't stay faithful, then why should he keep his promise?

He lunged at Billy, only to be knocked aside by Rowyn's giant moobs, when he turned to stop him.

"Oww," IT grumbled, rubbing his head.

"That is enough Pennywise! I told you no more eating people!" Rowyn scolded.

"I guess that doesn't mean you, because you're not a person, you're a conivving little witch!" It roared.

He stood tall in front of Rowyn, and transformed into a moth, then a bright light suddenly filled the room.

IT WAS THE DEAD LIGHTS!  
Rowyn started screaming, and crying, and his hair started to turn white.

"Omfg nooo!" he screamed.

He then fell over, and started to die.


	7. Chapter 7

IT suddenly remembered that he was pregnant, so he stopped killing Rowyn, he didn't want to raise twenty-five babies all on his own.

Instead, he started to sing,

"I need you like a hole in the head!"

Rowyn opened his eye, and lifted his head. He realised what song IT was singing, so he belted out,

"I need you like a bug in the bed!"

IT leaned over Rowyn and sang in a growly tone,

"You constantly bite the claw that feeds you!"  
Rowyn frowned and stood up, he and it danced in circles around each other, and then they pressed their backs together and belted out in unison,

"Who needs you? Not me!"

"I need you like a pain in the gut!" Rowyn sang, facing IT with a glare.

"Oh yeah? And I need you like a kick in the butt, you truly disgrace the race that breeds you!" IT belted out, sinking to his knees, and throwing his arms up into the air.

"You needs you? Not me!" They sang in unison again.

IT couldn't remember the rest of the lyrics to the song, and Rowyn started crying because of how mean IT was to him.

"I can't believe you almost killed me, and then you started to sing a mean song about me!"

"Hey, you started singing a mean song about me too!" IT exclaimed, putting his hands on his hips.

"Can we just start over?" Rowyn sniffled.

IT thought about it, he did need Rowyn despite that fact that he just sang that he didn't, however, he didn't want to give the little cretin the satisifaction of knowing it, so instead he said,

"The song says it all!"

He then walked out of the sewer. He decided to go down the junk yard, where he knew that Henry Bowers, Patrick Hockstetter, and Belch would be. He figured they'd probably be doing naughty things, like lighting their farts on fire and stuff.

He got there, and some stuff happened, that was too naughty to mention. Then, Henry started bullying Patrick, and he ran off, leaving Patrick crying over his mini-fridge.

IT was so sick and tired of hearing crying, because he constantly heard Rowyn cry, so he sent an army of leeches after Patrick; he died.

IT then had lunch of his body, and packed up the left overs. There was a lot, because Patrick was fat.

He returned to the sewer, where Rowyn was making out with Mike! Not Mike Hanlon, but Mike Stivic!

IT growled, and killed Mike, because cheating was wrong, and he knew that Mike was married to Gloria. He also agreed with Archie that you should put your shoes and socks on, sock, sock, and shoe, shoe, and not sock, shoe, sock, shoe like Mike did.

"Wtf!" Rowyn exclaimed with tears welling up in his eyes.

"You never want me to be happy!" he exclaimed, and then he raced out of the sewer, crying.

* * *

 _A/N: The song that IT and Rowyn sing is Who Needs You, I think, from The Land Before Time movie._


	8. Chapter 8

Rowyn ran and ran until he bumped into someone.

He gasped when he saw that it was...BILLY!

"W-What are you d-d-doing?" Billy studdered.

Rowyn snotted, and wiped his eyes.

"IT is being so mean! He sang a mean song about me, and he killed the guy that I was making out with!"

"You k-know you c-could j-join us," Bill said, and he waved his hand towards the other losers, who were all standing in a row.

"Yea! We accept him!" Beverly exclaimed.

Then, Bill and the others started to dance around Rowyn singing.

"One of us, one of us, gooble gobble, one of us!"

"OMG YOU GUYS ARE FREAKS!" Rowyn shouted, cutting them off.

He then ran away, screaming and waving his arms.

Meanwhile, down in the sewer, IT was lounging on the couch, feasting on a left over finger from when he had killed Patrick earlier in the junk yard.

He no longer felt sad that Rowyn was such a harlot, in fact, he felt nothing for him at all.

He did however, need someone to help him raise his twenty-five kids, someone that wasn't Rowyn.

"Åh nej, vad ska jag göra?" he said Swedishly, running his hand down his face with a groan.

Then, all the sudden, the other IT popped out from behind the couch.

"I know!"

"Wtf?" IT two gasped out, throwing his hands in the air, and falling off the couch.

"Oh come on, you're an IT! Don't be such a lily liver!" IT one exclaimed.

"What do you want?" IT two asked in a flat voice. He wished that the old IT would stop popping up. He had his time, now he was so last season, and this year, it was time for a new IT.

"I just wanted to say that you're making me proud, two kills in one day, and here I thought you had turned your back on the tradition," IT one laughed.

"Whatever, it was a fluke, it won't happen again," IT two scoffed. He knew that it probably would, and he honestly wouldn't mind if it did, however, he didn't want to get IT one the satisifaction of knowing that he was completely joining the dark side again.

"You know, this one thing reminds me of Being Human, where if you watched the US version Aidan, or the UK version Mitchell, like used to be super bad, but then they turn good, and their old vampire buddies are trying to get them to go back to the bad side!" Rowyn said, walking through the door with a guy on each arm.

Well, it seems like he no longer cares that I know he's a two-timing hussy. IT thought to himself.

"Oh yea! And then they both occasional slip up," said one of the guys on Rowyn's arm.

IT lifted a brow, how did he know about his slip ups?

IT rolled his eyes, and nodded at IT one, forgetting momentarily that he didn't want anything to do with him.

Then, they both charged at the guys, IT one killed the guy on the right, and IT two killed the one on the left.

Rowyn cried as both the ITs ate and laughed together.

IT two smiled at IT one, he hadn't felt this happy in along time, this...alive!

IT one smiled back, and then, the two ITs began to make loveeeeeeeeee.


	9. Chapter 9

Rowyn tore out of the sewer, hopped onto a plane to Australia, and cried the whole plane ride home.

When it landed, he was still crying whenever his BFF came to pick him up.

"Oh Rowyn, what's wrong?" she asked, putting a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

"Oh it's just horrible!" Rowyn wailed, "IT cheated on me, right in front of me!"

"There, there."

The BFF patted Rowyn's back.

Meanwhile, in the sewer, both the ITs were drinking tequlia sunrises and dancing on tables.

"Man! This is fangtastic!" IT one exclaimed.

"Yea, totally clawsome," said IT two, doing the disco motion with his arm.

Then, a slow song came on, and they pulled each other close, and started dancing.

Ah, this is the life, IT two thought to himself, resting his head on IT one's shoulder.

Then, before he could even register what was happening, he was on the floor with a sore nose.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING DANCING SO CLOSELY WITH MY HUSBAND!?"

IT two gasped and looked up to see MARIANNE THORNBERRY!

"What the heck? What about Nigel?"

"I am Nigel!" IT one cackled, he then transformed into the red haired guy, "Smashing, isn't it?"

"Whatever, just get out!" IT two sobbed, throwing the pair out of the sewer, he then fell into his bed, and started crying, he wished that Rowyn was there.


	10. Chapter 10

IT knew there was only one thing left to do, he would have to go to Australia and win Rowyn back!

Sure the jerk had cheated on him millions of times, and he told him that he couldn't be friends with other people with XY chromosomes, but he needed him. There was just something about him that he couldn't forget, or replace.

So he ran to Ponyboy's house, and stole the magical flying bicycle that E.T. had used to fly home or whatever, and he flew all the way to Australia.

When he got there, he saw that Rowyn was getting married to Mike! Not to Mike Hanlon, or Mike Stivic, but to Mike from Total Drama Revenge of the Island!

"What the heck Rowyn? Same-sex marriage isn't even legal in Austrailia!"

Mike batted his eyelashes and said in an Eastern European accent.

"I'm no man! I am Svetlana!"

"Yea, so f off, I found a man er woman, that can REALLY understand me! Mike and I have everything in common!" Rowyn cried as his eyes well up with tears.

"But Rowyn, you and I are so perfectly flawed, we fit together, we both have problems, and we can help each other through those problems," IT pleaded, he was on his knees now, begging.

Rowyn rubbed his chin and clicked his tongue.

"Nah."

An idea then clicked in IT's mind, he ran up to the alter, and ripped off Mike's/Svetlana's shirt!

"Eyy baby," he said, his face then took on a look of disgust when he saw Rowyn.

"Hey, you ain't Anne Maria, later!"

He ran away, leaving Rowyn crying at the alter.

"How could you do this to me!" he shouted, flinging himself at IT.

"Because, you're a horrible person and you don't deserve to be happy! I came here wanting you back, but then I realised, I only want you to be miserable! You will never find true love! NEVER!" IT screamed so loud, that Rowyn's hair blew off, which caused him to cry even harder.

"Just take me back to Derry, I don't want to explain to the guests why there will be no wedding," Rowyn sniffled.

"Alright, climb on," IT said, hopping onto the bicycle.

Rowyn hopped on it after him, and wrapped his arms around IT's waist. The ride back was silent, except for the sounds of Rowyn crying.

When they finally landed, IT gasped when he saw a group of guys there with switchblades and broken bottles, looking mad as heck!

Oh no!


	11. Chapter 11

"Oh dear, here we go again," IT groaned.

There it was, another group just waiting to attack him.

He landed the bicycle, and hopped off, laughing slightly when Rowyn just fell off like a giant beached whale.

"That was Ponyboy's bike, and you stole it!" exclaimed one of the guys, he looked slightly older than the rest, and he was big, he looked like he did a lot of jobs roofing houses.

"Yea! We don't take too kindly to people messing with people in our gang!" said a boy with an elf like appearance.

IT thought about eating them, but then he thought, nah, too much hair grease, so he just turned into a spider, and ran away with Rowyn rolling after him.

On his way back to the sewers, he saw this person leaning over a laptop, and crying all pathetically.

"What's wrong?" Rowyn asked, standing in between IT and the person, whose gender was undistinguishable to them.

"I just lost this game on neopets! I've been reading so many bad fanfics! I'm thirty-eight, and I still live with my parents, and I love to wear adult diapers, what isn't wrong with my life!?" the person wailed.

"Oh, well, if you want to come live with us, you can, I'm Rowyn by the way," Rowyn said.

IT's mouth dropped open, did Rowyn just invite this total loser stranger to move in with them?!

"Thanks," the person sniffled, "I'm Goldie."

"Nice to meet you Go-" Rowyn started to say, when IT yanked him away.

"WTF Rowyn! Did you just invite that loser stranger to move in with us?"

"Uh yea, I mean, the more people I can screw the merrier right?"

IT groaned and face palmed.

"You know, I don't even know why I put up with you."

"Because I'm the best you'll ever get?"

"Naw, I don't think so, you know, I thought I did need you. I thought you were this amazing guy, who was smart, funny, and just all around interesting. Guess what though? You're NOT! You're ugly as fuck, I mean, have you ever looked in a mirror? Everytime I look at you, I want to rip my eyes out with a rusty spoon. Just looking at you, and imagining you in bed," IT shuddered, "Also, you're dumb as hell! You can't even understand the most simple things! Not to mention you're SO boring! I've had more fun watching that movie Lymelife than talking to you!"

"I-I," Rowyn burst into tears and sank to the ground.

"Oh enough of this pathetic crying shit!"

IT then did what he should have done a long time ago, he turned into a swarm of moths, and Rowyn fell over, and died!


	12. Chapter 12

After Rowyn died, IT had a party, he was sooo happy.

He invited everyone in the town, however, no one came, because they all hated his guts.

"Why do I have to be such a disgrace? Why do people see a monster when they look upon my face?" IT sang as a tear rolled down his cheek.

He stood up and walked over to the couch.

"I just want someone to accept me for meeee! I don't want them to scream and flee!"

He wailed out, sinking to his knees.

"You know."

IT jumped and turned around, to see Lucas from Stranger Things sitting on the TV.

"What are you doing here?" IT gasped.

"You know, maybe if you wanted people to like you, then you shouldn't eat people all the time and stuff," the boy said, ignoring IT's question.

"Omg, how'd you know?" IT asked with surprise, he was sure that only people from Derry knew about what he did in his free time.

"My friend Mi- I mean, Richie told me, yea, Richie told me," Lucas said with a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his head.

"Is he that jack hat with the glasses that never shuts up?" IT asked, wrinkling his nose.

"Uh, yea, I think, when he lived in Hawkins, he wasn't like that at all! After he went into witness protection, he completely changed his personality like a chamelon changes its skin!" Lucas exclaimed.

"WTF Lucas! We weren't supposed to tell anyone about the witness protection thing!"

This came from Dusty, who somehow appeared into the house in thin air!

IT sighed, tired of all these people just randomly coming into his sewer, so he ate them.

"Woo wee! I haven't ate that well since I was knee high to a grasshopper!" he exclaimed, rubbing his full belly.

He then remembered that he was pregnant, and that he had killed Rowyn.

Oh shit!


	13. Chapter 13

So IT did the only thing he could think of to do, he took Rowyn's body to Pet Semetary.

When he got there, he saw a bunch of guys in plaid jackets drinking beer, they were yelling about someone taking der jerbs, but he paid no mind to them.

When he emerged further and further into the place, he began to have second thoughts.

Would Rowyn REALLY make that good of a parent?

He didn't think so!

Rowyn was just a selfish cow who only cared about himself. It was nearly impossible for him to empathasize with anyone.

Hell, all he cared about was his next lay, and not the potato chip.

Was this really worth it? Hell, Rowyn could come back even WORSE than before!

Did he honestly want that?

No, no he did not.

Instead, he sat by a gravestone, and pulled out a guitar. He strummed a few chords, before he started to sing,

"What the heck is going on in your head?  
Who is in your bed?

You're a slut

I hate your guts

You're a slut

You stupid mutt.

You put me through hell

Now it's time to tell the truth

It's time to tell the truth, about you.

You're a crazy drama queen

The stories you tell are so obscene.

You hide behind a disguise.

You have everyone believing your lies.

You start all the fights

You really know how to ruin my nights.

I hate your guts

You stupid slut  
I'm going to kick your butt

Everyone defends you it's true.

I bet they wouldn't though if they knew the real you.

Now it's time to tell the truth.

It's time to tell the truth about you.

You're a crazy drama queen

The stories you tell are so obscene

You hide behind a disguise.

You have everyone belieivng your lies.

One day, I'm going to expose you for what you really are.

Just a cunt who hooks up with people in a bar.

You're never going to get away with this

You toxic little shit.

Now it's time to tell the truth

It's time to tell the truth, about you.

You're a crazy drama queen

The stories you tell are so obscene.

You hide behind a disguise.

You have everyone believing your lies."

After the song ended, IT put his guitar away.

"I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!"

IT gasped and whirled around to see Rowyn standing there, alive again!

Oh shit! Was all he had to do was take Rowyn into the place? Did he not need to bury him or anything?

Oh wait, it wasn't Rowyn, instead, it was Cousin Kyle from South Park.

"Vad fan!" IT gasped with shock.

"Oh no, my sensitive ears can't handle swear words," Cousin Kyle said in his nasally voice.

"Handle this!" IT exclaimed, eating him in one bite; he died.

After that, IT decided to go home.


	14. Chapter 14

When IT came home, he sceamed when he saw all the losers sitting there in his living room!

Billy had another machine gun, Mike had a bat with spikes in it, kind of like that guy from 13 Ghosts, Eddie had an oxygen tank, Beverly had a sling shot, Stan had a basket of matzo balls, Ben had two hot dogs, and Richie had a girl with very short hair.

"Leave now or die!" Richie shouted, and IT found himself being raised up by nothing!

"How the hell?" he gasped out.

"I have telekinesis!" the girl with Richie exclaimed.

"We know you ate Dusty and Lucas!" Richie cried, shaking his fists.

"Yea!" Stan exclaimed, throwing a matzo ball at him.

"Wait, wait, hold up, wouldn't this go much smoother if we just used Billy's gun to take him out?" Mike asked.

"We want to make him suffer!" Beverly cried, slapping IT with her sling shot.

"Eight against one is hardly fair!" IT huffed. He then had an idea!

He whistled, and Peter, in his wolf form, came crashing through the door, and he ripped Ben's head clear off! He died.

"YOU'RE A MONSTER!" Beverly wailed, and she started crying because Ben was her boyfriend.

"I'M GOING TO MAKE POTTED MEAT OUT OF YOU!"

She hit IT a million billion times with her sling shot.

"Calm down Beverly, I got this!" Mike said, and he hit IT in the knee caps with his bat.

"Oww!" IT cried, sinking to the ground, "That really hurt you jerk!"

"T-Time to g-go s-swim with the f-fishes!" Billy cried, holding the gun to IT, and pulling the trigger.

IT saw red and black, as his life slipped away; he died.

The End...or is it?


End file.
